At least You're not as Annoying as the Others
by RedEyedWarrior
Summary: The contestants are now living in a different resort while Total Drama Pahkitew Island is being filmed. A lot of the contestants are annoyed, but Heather is especially not enjoying herself and neither is Alejandro. Especially when they have to deal with the shenanigans of most of the other characters.


**DISCLAIMER: **_**All-Stars**_** would've been a far better season if I actually owned the show.**

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Although they were responsible for sinking Wawanakwa Island, which included the Playa and the small portion of the nearby town that bordered the 'island' – technically, it was an island, but it was connected to the rest of the town by a bridge – Chris and Chef were not thrown in jail. In fact, they were not punished in any way by the authorities. The people that lived on the island portion of the town were known nationwide to be some of the biggest dickheads in Canada anyway, so nobody cared. This enabled Chris to find a new island with a new Playa, where all of the first and second generation contestants were subsequently forced to stay during the filming of _Total Drama, Pahkitew Island_. Needless to say, everyone was pissed off at Chris. None more so than two former contestants in particular.

Heather was doing everything she could to get a break. She could back to her room. But after spending so much time in there since she got here, the queen bee needed to get out more. Too bad everyone around her were complete idiots or were simply annoying. Heather wanted to relax in the hot tub. Unfortunately, Bridgette and Geoff were having sex in the other end of the hot tub, right in front of everyone. This pissed Heather off profusely.

"Get a room!" she shouted at the couple. They ignored her. Heather decided to splash some water at them to grab their attention. Apparently, Geoff and Bridgette were too engaged in their sex session to notice. Scowling, Heather stood up and climbed out of the hot tub. She decided to go for a swim in the pool. But when she got to the diving board, she found out why there was no queue to use it. Tyler kept falling off the ladder. Even when he did get to the top, the jock would dive off the wrong end of the board and land on the concrete.

"You're going to end up in the hospital if you keep falling off that board," Heather rolled her eyes.

"Well that was the last time I missed the pool!" Tyler shouted proudly. "The next time I jump I WILL BE UNSTOPPABLE!"

"Did that even make any sense?" Heather demanded. Tyler ignored her and rocketed up the ladder. Again, the talentless jock dived off the wrong end and slammed himself against the floor. Tyler was obviously not going to give up so Heather decided to head towards the waterslide.

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Alejandro was the other person who was pissed off. He was immensely pissed off that everywhere he went, there was somebody annoying the hell out of him. Dakota – or Dakotazoid, to be more precise – chased Alejandro out of the games room just because the Arch Villain complained that Sam was hogging the pinball machine. Sierra refused to let Alejandro into the steam room because that was where she was molesting Cody and Cameron. In the gym, Eva was beating the shit out of Lightning because he kept asking her how to use the treadmill over and over again despite the obvious instructions printed onto the control board. Other than that, Jo was harassing everyone else at the gym and Brick was screaming and crying just because he fell off the exercise ball.

Alejandro decided to go for a swim in the pool. On his way to the waterslide, he could not help but notice Lindsay dragging Zoey away.

"C'mon Tyler, let's go have sex," Lindsay happily suggested to Zoey, much to the Indie Chick's chagrin. Alejandro chuckled at this.

As he got closer to the slide, Alejandro was stopped by Gwen.

"Hey Alejandro, have you seen Courtney?" Gwen asked. "I haven't seen her anywhere."

"What do you want her for?" Alejandro asked.

"To have sex with her," said Gwen. "She tells me she doesn't want it and that she's going to sue me if I ever get close to her again, but she doesn't know she wants it yet."

"I believe Courtney is already sneaking around with Chris," Alejandro rolled his eyes. It was no secret that Courtney has been sleeping around with the host to pretty much everyone except Gwen, thanks to Izzy, who was spying on everyone. Izzy even got herself a threesome with Chris and Courtney. Courtney and Chris knew there was no point in pressing charges against Izzy, knowing that Izzy would keep at what she is doing no matter what.

"What?!" Gwen gasped. "But I thought Courtney and I had a connection! Maybe if I kill Chris, Courtney will see what a woman I am and run into my arms."

Then all of a sudden, another Gwen emerged from nowhere and pinched the former Gwen in the neck, causing her to fall to the floor.

"What the fuck?!" Alejandro shrieked.

"I'm sorry, but I refuse to let that clone cause trouble," Gwen deadpanned.

Alejandro's ears pricked up. "What do you mean clone?" he asked.

"Izzy thought it would be a good idea to have me have sex with a clone of myself so she drugged me, put me in a machine and the end result is a double," Gwen explained. "Except she had a significantly lower IQ and a not-so-easy-to-control sex drive. Chris found out and liked her better than the real Gwen, which is why she got to be on the show."

"Ow, that's not what nice people should do to others!" the Gwen clone gulped as she got up off the floor.

"Yeah? Well nice people don't go around being so annoyingly technical about love triangles!" Gwen scowled.

"But you took Duncan after he and Courtney broke up."

"They only broke up because Duncan and I kissed," Gwen corrected her clone. "So technically, I _did_ steal Courtney's boyfriend." Not that I regret it, though, thought Gwen. She knew Courtney has been sleeping with the host since the middle of _Total Drama Action_. Gwen also knew that the only reason Courtney was pissed about the love triangle was that she could no longer use Duncan for casual sex.

"Do you know where Courtney is?" Gwen's clone asked.

"No," Gwen glared. "And I didn't want to meet her before that season you stole from me. Now I'm almost terrified of being on the same island as Courtney. I'm locking you in the closet." Gwen grabbed her clone by the ear and dragged her away, amidst the clone's protests about not being able to have Courtney's hair in her mouth. Alejandro was gravely disturbed by this. He could not get the thoughts out of his mind.

Until he bumped into Heather. They both fell into the pool.

"Sorry mi amor," Alejandro apologised. "I was not looking where I was going. Something was on my mind."

"I wonder what it was," Heather rolled her eyes.

"Chica, the only way I could explain this is in a therapist's office with dolls," Alejandro rolled his eyes.

"My day was no better," Heather griped. "Everyone at this resort are complete idiots."

"Tell me about it," Alejandro shrugged. "I bet Eva is still attacking Lightning in the gym for obvious reasons."

"If you were thinking of riding the waterslide, don't waste your time," Heather advised. "DJ is perched at the top of the slide and he's too scared to go down. Yet he still wants to go down. I pushed him and he held on to the handles, refusing to let go."

"Did he let go?" Alejandro asked, laughing.

"Not until I pried his fingers off," Heather sneered. "But then Trent cut in front of me and went down before me. He stopped halfway down and decided to stay there so he could jerk off. Obviously he found out from Harold that the slide was 198 metres in length and he plans on staying there for nine days."

"Okay, now I know what I won't be doing for the time being," Alejandro shuddered. "At least you're not as annoying as the others."

"I'd say the same about you as well. So what are you up to?" Heather asked, wanting to change the subject. "I'm bored."

"We could go to my room, watch a few movies and then have sex," Alejandro proposed.

"Well then what are we waiting for?" Heather smirked. They climbed out of the pool and held hands as they made their way into the hotel. Trent watched this from his position on the waterslide and gasped in horror.

"NOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOO!" Trent shrieked. "I WANTED ALEJANDRO ALL TO MYSELF BECAUSE HE HAS NINE LETTERS IN HIS NAME! CURSE THAT HEATHER BITCH! I'LL KILL HER NINE TIMES WITH THE POWER OF THE NINE!"

All of a sudden, Chris came down the slide with Courtney on his lap. They collided with Trent, who fell onto Courtney and they screamed – Trent screamed nine times – as they descended into the pool.

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**Nothing to say, other than this is my first ever dedicated AleHeather fic. I've written plenty of AleHeather before, but mostly as a subplot in my fics. Anyway, I just returned to college and I am struggling to settle in. The projects look tough and I don't like them. But I might as well deal with that. Sorry I haven't been updating a lot lately, but hopefully I can change that.**

**Until next time!**


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